Although trying to save money and clipping coupons at every chance has nothing to do with the coming post…it is a fun word, that i enjoy.
and i don’t remember to word i was going to use as a tittle so ‘frugal’ is close enough.
This year has been mixed so far. nothing really has changed physically…just…emotionally.
if you know what i mean.
things still looks the same
sound the same
they feel the same when you touch them
they smell the same
and taste the same.
conversations still carry the same tone
and hands still go the same places
the same things are done
and the same places are visited.
but.
things
FEEL
different.
or at least they should.
for the same feelings are not in place as they were 48 hours ago.
so,
there are Three options i can consider.
1) Things aren’t really different…they just are pretending to be for an unknown reason.
2) My life for the past 4 month has been a sham, and there-for things aren’t really different.
3)Things have changed all together and i am just not allowing my self to fully see it.
I remember during PRiME Speed gave me three choices for many things.
from then on i saw the sensibility of it, and did the same for most things in my life.
But this time i was given no options.
nothing to reason with or play with.
just a
“this is how it is…..I think”
which confused me quite a bit….because even though i had noticed a few off things over the past few weeks, it hadnt been enough to bother me.
or
not enough to bother me into a fit of trying to figure out what was wrong.
but its funny how emotions can change, how memories can change with just a little time.
because memories, that once were happy and made me giddy and blush to my self, now only make me worried and longing.
they just dont feel the same,
things may never feel the same.
Memories of trees and lakes.
of blushing and giggling
of screaming and falling
of stupid things like that.
of things that are too embarrassing and too old to post on my blog with out being harassed ;D
but i wont complain, i wont cry on gossip.
ill just be Frugal.
because all things come to an end (even if you don’t want them too) so ill snip and clip and find ways to save.
xoxo
Viva

3 comments
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January 4, 2010 at 9:06 PM
Imposeing the third.
this guys a prick.
maybe things have changed. maybe just a bit. but not enough to ruin things. just enough to make you think. to think in new ways, in a new train of thought, change is not always bad, but it will be if you make it so.
maybe he should have given you three choices but would that have changed the out come? or would things go on, changed – but not realized, until somthing fell apart.
Emotions can change and you cant explain it or turn it around even if you want to. But you can controle those memories, you can make them last as is. you can remember the trees and lakes and blushing and giggling, and of stupid things like that.
just because he has ruined the emotions of the last four months, it dosent mean that you have to let him sour all the memories as well.
January 9, 2010 at 2:23 PM
kamla2000
Emotions are a sea that gets you trapped in the currents and doesn’t allow you to get out without a struggle. I know how you feel personally. It does suck but give it time. Boys need time to figure out what they truly want. Especially teens.
I hope you know who this is:P
January 9, 2010 at 6:59 PM
Sara
and through all these things,
one remained.
love you girl,
-S